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Advice from REAL BOYS' VOICES

Advice:

• Getting Behind the Mask
• Overcoming Bullying
• What If Your Child Is Bullying
• What Should Boys Who Are Bullied Know
• How Do You Tell If A Boy Is Depressed
• 15 Step Program To Help Boys

Getting Behind the Mask:

Action Talk

• Honor a boy’s need for "Timed Silence"—to choose when to talk.
• Find a safe place, a "shame-free zone."
• Connect through activity or play (an activity the boy likes).
• Avoid shaming – boys are shame-phobic.
• Make brief statements and wait – do not lecture.
• Share your own experiences (if relevant). It lets your boy know he is not alone.
• Be quiet and listen.
• Convey how much you admire and care about and love the boy.

Encouraging Boys’ Voices

• Give your boy regular periods of undivided attention and listening space.
• Don’t prematurely push him to be "independent."
• Encourage the expression of a full and wide range of emotions.
• Let him know that "real boys," and "real men" do cry and speak.
• Express your love as openly as you would with a girl (although in different ways, at different times.)
• When you see aggressive or angry behavior, look for the pain behind it.
• Let him know he doesn’t always have to be tough and strong.

Next: Overcoming Bullying >>